It seems like the Mets have not been able to string together more than 4 wins since I last regularly wrote this column, and, while I’m not particularly superstitious…

Everyone ready for Willie Watch 2.0? Losing 4 straight to the Padres would seem to seal his fate… that is, if losing the last three hasn’t already.

Tomorrow’s off-day would seem to be a pretty convenient opportunity to make a change.

Does anyone believe the Mets have the cajones to make a bold choice with a new manager?

If the Mets hire Jim Fergosi will you swallow the red pill and return to the Matrix?

Why not Bill Webb? How different can managing and directing be?

Watching Johan Santana get beaned in the shoulder was like dropping my only housekey and watching it bounce perilously towards a sewer grate in slow motion.

Scary as this may sound, if things continue in this fashion the Mets would probably be best served to go into “sell” mode after the All-Star break.

Then again, what of value do the Mets have to sell?

Strategically marketed to desparate teams at the deadline, Oliver Perez, Claudio Vargas, Endy Chavez, Scott Schoeneweis, Aaron Heilman, and Pedro Feliciano could all help bring back useful parts to help restock our system.

The Mets have lost a lot of games over the last year, but I’d bet we’d all be shocked if we checked to see in how many of those games they actually blew a lead. Elias?

I wish I could just say “Elias?” and be instantly provided with obscure stats and trivia—just like Gary, Keith and Ron.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who is bummed the Brewers beat us to Cutter Dykstra.

Is it me, or does Kevin Burkhardt dominate post-game Q&A’s? In the locker room he’s like Shaq in the paint.

The Mets have re-signed Raul Gonzalez?!? Was Ricky Ledee not returning Omar’s phone calls?

It may have been a while since I’ve written an official Sidd Speak column, but I’m still fresh out of Moises Alou injury jokes.

In this time of despair, I make my case for why, despite my absolute lack of qualifications, the reigns should turned over to yours truly…

10. I’m smart enough to know when to show emotion, even if it’s an act. Listen, of course there is something to be said for maintaining an even keel, and not showing up your players for the sake of appeasing a restless fanbase. That being said, jeez almighty, sometimes Willie looks as though he’s popped one too many Xanax before a game. Kick the watercooler, throw a few bats, kick some dirt on an umpire… I don’t care… just do something to give the team a burst of adrenaline every once in a while. It really does work.

9. I’m willing to think outside the box. Willie has been around baseball for a long time and knows there are certain tried and true ways to manage that you don’t deviate from—but c’mon man, ala Tom Cruise circa Risky Business, sometimes you just gotta say, “What the f@#K.” One suicide squeeze in three years? Dude, I’ve squeezed more than that THIS MONTH and I don’t even play baseball.

8. I know Aaron Heilman can’t be trusted under pressure. I’m no statistician, but if I looked it up I’d bet you dollars to donuts that Aaron has choked more often than not in big spots. I am not resorting to hyperbole here—I’m talking more than 50% of the time. I have gotten into the habit of calling my wife over to the t.v. every time Heilman comes in the game, waving my hands at the screen and shouting, “Abracadabra! Base hit!” As I’m right almost every time, my wife literally thinks I’m wielding some form of dark magic.

7. I’m not politically correct. If reporters asked me to comment after Billy Wagner called out his teammates last week my response would have been, “Amen, brother.” All this “let’s keep it in the clubhouse” nonsense is overrated. First of all, it HAS been kept in the clubhouse for over a year now. If players don’t respond for over a year, it has to boil over at some point and people need to be put on the spot.

6. I’m color coordinated. Alright, I may be borrowing this from Ron and Keith, but enough with these black and two-tone hats. Mets uniforms are either grey or white and the hats are Dodger blue. Have some pride and respect for team tradition and draw some motivation from it. If you want to do something different, wear the throwback 69 or 86 jerseys every once in a while. We can wear the black ones when someone dies.

5. I’m willing to tell Omar Minaya to bite me. Omar Minaya may be the general manager and Willie Randolph’s boss, but Willie is the one on the front lines every day. If Ryan Church has a concussion, Damion Easley is at his son’s graduation and Moises Alou is on the DL and you try to stuff Raul Cassanova down my throat I am going to come up to your office and flip your desk.

4. I’m not afraid of the players. Yes, I want my team to like me—but I’d rather they respect or even fear me. At this point I’d be going up and down the clubhouse with marching orders. Delgado—when you see that shift you are bunting every time, and I mean every time unless I tell you otherwise. Reyes – every time you hit a ball in the air you’re giving me 20 just like Willie Mays Hayes. Beltran – you’re going to start stealing bases with regularity again. I don’t care if you get caught. Oliver Perez – here’s some Ritalin, swallow it… now let me look under your tongue.

3. I’m okay with wasting the Wilpon’s money. Has anyone else noticed that Delgado has been wearing a band-aid on his arm every single night? I’m starting to wonder if he’s got one of those things they put on a turkey to tell you when it’s done, and his has popped up. Yes, we still owe Carlos Delgado a lot of money this year, but if he needs to sit he needs to sit. Of course, I want to maintain a good relationship with ownership, but it’s not my job to balance their checkbook. Fernando Tatis may not be the answer and Mike Carp may not be ready, but dare I say both could do better than .218 6 21?

2. I’m all about identity. If I see one more opposing player literally hanging over the plate without an ounce of fear I think I am going to vomit. If I manage this team people are going to know that the plate belongs to us, and everyone else is just visiting. My pitchers will be buzzing opposing batters like it’s going out of style. When you play us, no matter the outcome, it’s going to be uncomfortable for you. And you know what? If and when the opportunity presents itself (i.e. someone deserves it), I’m giving the sign to plant a heater on someone’s fanny. If it starts a fight, all the better. At the end of the day, the Mets will have an identity that will make other teams nervous and put the pressure on them. So far the scary black jerseys haven’t done the trick.

1. I have a good memory. I know the Mets have won the World Series twice. I would look at those two teams and emulate them. This may not win us the World Series, but it’s the type of play fans want to see and will earn their support.

Hey Gang. Long time no blog. Those of you who know me well know that work obligations make it very difficult for me to devote any real time to the blogosphere these days. That being said, while I don’t post very often anymore, I’m still a very active reader and fan of almost every Mets related blog out there. I also continue to be impressed and awed by the evolution of the availability of Mets related info for fans.

Almost every single morsel of news is immediately launched into cyberspace for our consumption, and sometimes I wonder how much information we’d actually take if given even more access.

Which got me to thinking… The way things are going are posts like this inevitable?

…..posted by Mitch Tannenbaum…
…Pedro Martinez has hailed a cab curbside at La Guardia Airport and is on his way to the New York Hospital for Special Surgery for an MRI….

..…Update…12 pm….
…Pedro has asked the cab driver to turn down the radio…

…Update…12:04 pm…
…Pedro is politely nodding his head as the cab driver talks about his family in Pakistan…

…Update…12:07 pm…
…Kevin Burkardt has talked with someone familiar with Pedro’s cab ride, and reports that Pedro is becoming increasingly frustrated by the traffic…

…Update…12:09 pm…
…Pedro has noticed a Saturn Skye in the next lane of traffic. He was previously unaware that Saturn manufactured such sporty vehicles…

…Update…12:15 pm…
…the buzz at the Hospital for Special Surgery is that at least six patients are scheduled for MRI’s before Pedro’s appointment. One patient is expressing anxiety over entering the machine and delays are expected….

…Update…12:27 pm…
…the MRI apparatus itself is said to be a GE model 5348 XE. It’s sort of off-white in color…

…Update…12:34 pm…
…Pedro’s cab is now on the Triboro bridge. Tolls will be added to the final fare…

…Update…12:40 pm…
…Pedro is hungry…

…Update…1:10 pm…
…I’ve been getting a lot of nervous e-mails as there’s been no new information in approximately 30 minutes. Let’s not speculate folks. I’m sure everything is fine. I least I hope that’s the case….

…Update…1:30 pm…
…Pedro has entered the Hospital for Special Surgery. He is wearing jeans and some sort of casual “Miami-Style” shirt with a checkered pattern. He does not appear to be limping, but rounded the corner in the lobby very quickly and disappeared from view…

…Update…1:35 pm…
…Pedro has pressed the “up” button in the elevator bay…

…Update…1:40 pm…
…Pedro is in the elevator. He has pressed the button for floor #7. Buttons pressed by other passengers include floors, 2, 3, 5 and 6. There is one gentleman in the elevator with a strange menthol odor…

…Update…1:45 pm…
…Pedro is in the waiting room pending his appointment… He is reading Glamour Magazine…

…Update…1:46 pm…
…Pedro is reading Glamour because the only other choice was Redbook…

…Update…1:47 pm…
…One of those subscription cards just fell out of the magazine…

…Update…1:59 pm…
…Pedro has been called into the “pre-MRI” room and has been asked to put on a medical gown…

…Update…2:07 pm…
…Pedro has the gown on backwards. His junk is hanging out, and, sadly, he doesn’t seem to notice…

…Update…2:08 pm…
…Pedro has fixed the gown. A somewhat effete orderly is displaying a vague sense of disappointment…

…Update…2:30 pm…
…We can confirm that Pedro is being inserted into the MRI apparatus. As far as we can tell he has removed all his jewelry and no complications are expected…

…Update…2:45 pm…
…Results of our poll are now in: 70% feel claustrophobic in MRI machines, 25% feel calm, and 5% objected to this poll not conveying any new information specifically about Pedro…

…Update…3:00 pm…
…Pedro is being removed from the machine. There are unconfirmed reports of small talk between Pedro and medical personnel…

…Update…3:04 pm…
…Make sure to tune into SNY tonight where I will be reporting on the status of Pedro’s MRI results…

.…Update…3:10 pm…
…Why do they call it a “hamstring” anyway? No “ham”, no “strings”…

.…Update…3:22 pm…
…Doctors are currently reviewing Pedro’s test results. Very little can be gauged by their expressions as they view the data…

.…Update…3:45 pm…
…We’ve had unconfirmed reports of a total hamstring tear, a severe hamstring sprain and/or a mild strain. We’ve also had unconfirmed reports that Pedro’s injuries are attributable to a rare infectious muscle disorder contracted from Orlando Hernandez. In addition to his various muscular/skeletal injuries, Mets sources are quietly referring to Hernandez as a “walking Petrie dish.”

.…Update…3:55 pm…
…Calls to Rick Peterson requesting a strange and abstract analogy relating Pedro’s hamstring have gone unanswered…

…Update…4:01 pm…
…According to SNY’s Kevin Burkhardt, the Mets have placed Pedro Martinez on the 15–day disabled list with a mild strain to his left hamstring, while activating Nelson Figueroa from Triple-A New Orleans.

Sidd Finch,
is a recovering lawyer currently in exile in Los Angeles. When he is
not busy antagonizing Dodger fans, he manages the non-profit
organization “k9 connection“,
which rescues homeless shelter dogs and brings them into L.A. area
schools to counsel, educate and inspire at-risk teens. His mother also
thinks he's very handsome.