Mind you, when I say “legs,” it is not to be confused with “gams”, which are great.  Seriously though, can someone, anyone tell me what is going on with the legs of Met players?

This year, the Mets have lost Jose Reyes, Angel Pagan, Fernando Martinez, Carlos Beltran, Gary Sheffield, and now Fernando Nieve for differing, often significant amounts of time due to leg injuries.

There’s nothing more disturbing than watching someone run hard to first only to fall to the floor writhing in pain because they “tweaked”, as Met officials would say to you, a quad or a hamstring.  Of course, when the Mets say the word “tweak” and “day to day,” you can safely assume they really mean that the guy’s leg is literally on fire and that he’s officially retiring from baseball.

*snap*

Oh no, Mr. Met just fractured his fibula…

On Friday night, I was at a diner, and while I was trying to scoot out of the booth seating, I slammed my knee right into the table, causing a bump to form which still hurts today.  That’s a true story, and now I’m suspicious that the Mets signed me while I was sleeping.

I don’t understand how this has happened to so many guys on the squad in such a short amount of time.  Is it the way they’re conditioning?  Is there something wrong with their diets?  Has Charlie Manuel been poking Met voodoo dolls in the legs with pins?  And what’s next?  Is Jeremy Reed going to develop rickets?  Either way, I’d love to know:  Is it by any chance feasible, and legal, to launch the Mets’ training and medical staff into the sun? I’m just glad that Paul McCartney was able to escape Citi Field without any serious leg injuries.

Granted, it’s just bad luck, but there can’t be any way to feel confident that we’ve seen the last Met injury this year, so I suggest that the Mets just wear bubble wrap over their legs and hope for the best.  It’s not as if it’ll make them play any worse.

Get in the dog house, Legs.
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