“Top Ten ways the New York Mets can turn things around” (“Late Show,” CBS, 6/17).

10. “Less horseplay, more grab-ass. ”

9. “Ask Tiger Woods to switch to baseball.”

8. “Stop leaving games early to beat traffic.”

7. “Convince super delegates to put them in the playoffs.”

6. “Ask President Bush how he was able to turn things around in Iraq.”

5. “For starters, pay the poor bastards enough to live on.”

4. “Jetpacks.”

3. “Before every game, feed other team tainted to-maters.”

2. “Replace batting practice with frozen head of Ted Williams and dunk tank.”

1. “Start fixing games like they do in the NBA.”

Hat tip to Adam’s Tumblr for the list.

Sphere: Related Content