Check out the Onion, for this hilarious take on the ’Strong Side’ and ‘Weak Side’ of Johan Santana.  My favorites include:

  • Head is perfectly shaped for a 7-3/8ths hat.
  • Devastating 1 mph changeup often forces batters to humiliatingly swing and miss three times at a single pitch.
  • Still smells Like Minnesota
  • Still winless in his first February in New York Spotlight 

Drop-dead funny. 

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