The Human Rain Delay, Steve Trachel, has signed a minor league contract with Baltimore. He played for both the O’s and Cubs last season, struggling off and on.

The man of a thousand spellings, Doug Mientkiewicz, has signed a minor league contract with the Pirates. He could make $750,000 if he makes the 40 man roster, assuming someone in the Pittsburgh front office can spell his name for his checks. He was a Met for a season, in which he did nothing you remember.

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